Messy, imperfect, and learning: why it’s okay to start where you are

There’s something both thrilling and terrifying about being a beginner. It’s a mix of nervous excitement, self-doubt, and the occasional moment of pure exhilaration when you experience the progress. I recently experienced this again when I strapped on a pair of skis for the first time in a while. As I stood on the snowy slope, heart pounding, I realised that learning to ski isn’t just about balance and technique—it’s about embracing discomfort and pushing through the fear of failure.

For many of us, especially as women who are moms, wives, building careers or businesses, being a beginner can feel really daunting. We are used to having things under control—managing work deadlines, running households, and keeping family life moving smoothly. But stepping into something unfamiliar reminds us that growth happens outside of our comfort zones.

Falling (and getting back up)

In my first ski lesson, I fell. A lot. Each time, I had to fight the instinct to feel embarrassed, to stay down and get defeated. But my instructor reminded me that falling is part of learning. It’s how we figure out what doesn’t work so we can improve.

This lesson applies to so many areas of life. Maybe you’re stepping into a new role at work, starting a side hustle, or even just trying a new workout routine. The fear of failure is real, but every stumble is a stepping stone toward progress. The key is to get back up and keep going.

In motherhood, we see this all the time. Our children don’t learn to walk without falling first. They don’t master reading without stumbling over words. Yet, we encourage them to keep trying. So why do we forget to give ourselves the same encouragement? The truth is, the ability to rise after setbacks is a skill in itself—one that builds resilience and confidence over time.

The power of patience

Learning anything new takes time. As moms and in teams, we often encourage our children or our teams to be patient with themselves, whether they’re learning to walk, read, master a new piece of work or ride a bike. Yet, when it comes to our own challenges, we expect immediate mastery.

Whether you’re navigating a career change, trying to build healthier habits, or even learning to parent in a new phase of your child’s life, give yourself the same grace and patience you’d give your kids. Progress is not linear, and every small step counts. The more we practice patience, the more we become more confident and allow ourselves the space to grow.

Overcoming the fear of judgment

One of the biggest hurdles to trying something new is the fear of what others will think. As I clumsily maneuvered down the ski slopes, I was convinced that everyone around me was watching, judging my lack of skill. But the truth? Most people were too busy focusing on their own path to pay attention to me.

This fear holds us back in so many areas of life. We hesitate to speak up in meetings, to post that first social media video for our new business, or to admit that we don’t know something. But the reality is, no one is watching as closely as we think. And even if they are, does their opinion really matter enough to throw us off track from our own version of success?

Finding joy in the process

It’s easy to get caught up in the frustration of not being “good” at something right away. But what if we shifted our focus from results to the joy of learning itself? When I finally managed a smooth (albeit wobbly) glide down the slopes, it wasn’t just about reaching the bottom, but also about keeping upright at each turn.

Trying something new can inject energy and excitement into our often routine lives. Whether it’s picking up a new skill, rediscovering an old hobby, or simply saying yes to something unfamiliar, there’s joy in the process if we allow ourselves to embrace it.

Becoming a lifelong learner

Being a beginner doesn’t end with skiing. Life constantly presents us with new opportunities to learn and grow. Maybe it’s mastering a new technology at work, tackling a DIY home project, or even learning how to set better boundaries in relationships. The more we lean into the beginner mindset, the more resilient and adaptable we become.

Even in parenting, we are forever beginners. Each stage of our children’s lives brings new challenges—helping them through school struggles, navigating their teenage years, or adjusting to an empty nest. There’s no manual for getting it perfect. We’re all learning as we go, and that’s okay.

If stepping out of your comfort zone feels overwhelming, here are a few ways to start:
1. Reframe failure as learning – instead of seeing mistakes as setbacks, view them as lessons. Each misstep is an opportunity to improve.
2. Take small, consistent steps – you don’t have to go all in at once. If you’re learning a new skill or starting something new, start with small, manageable goals that keep you moving forward, step by step.
3. Celebrate progress – recognise even the smallest achievements. Progress isn’t just about reaching the end goal—it’s about every little win along the way.
4. Find support – whether it’s a coach, an accountability partner, or a supportive friend, surrounding yourself with encouragement can make the journey easier.
5. Embrace the joy of trying – let go of perfection and allow yourself to enjoy the process. The experience itself is valuable, regardless of the outcome.

So, whether you’re clicking on skis for the first time or stepping into any new experience, remember this: It’s okay to wobble, it’s okay to fall, and it’s okay to be a beginner. The magic happens when we embrace the journey, trust the process, and keep moving forward.