Rethinking rest

04 Jul Rethinking rest

Right from the beginning, rest was part of the rhythm of time.  Right from the beginning, even the Creator made space to rest.  And now, in these times, rest is considered to be something we have to work for, something we have to earn.  And even when we feel we’ve earned the rest, we can’t rest because we feel guilty about not doing what “should” be done or maybe we don’t know how to rest well anymore.

I’ve heard people say that they aren’t “wired” to rest, that their brains and bodies work too fast for them to rest.  I don’t buy this.  It’s not how we were created to be.  It’s how we’ve become.  It’s how we’ve learnt to be, from the environments we’re in.  It’s what feels familiar.  That’s why we can’t rest.  We live in a world where shops are open seven days a week, we can order food and clothes for delivery to our doors that same day, we can watch three episodes in three uninterrupted hours, instead of over three weeks, with ad breaks interrupting the show.   We are ‘always on’, with technology that connects us to our family and friends and work colleagues, wherever we are and whenever they need us.  It’s no wonder that we feel we aren’t “wired” for rest!  It’s because the world we live in doesn’t know how to be slow or quiet.

So, what actually is rest?

In the beginning, rest was created to be a space in the rhythm of the week to down tools and take a break from work, even during plowing season, even during harvest time.  Rest was a requirement, not an option, even when (especially when!) calendars and schedules were full and deadlines were tight.  The second lumberjack got this right, have you heard his story?  It goes like this…  Two lumberjacks started work every day at 8am and finished work at 5pm.  Each day, the first lumberjack would chop down trees with his best effort for 9 hours without a break.  Each day, the second lumberjack would chop down trees with his best effort for 8 hours, taking a one hour break in the middle of the day.  Each day, the second lumberjack would chop down more trees than the first lumberjack, even with one less hour of work.  One day, the first lumberjack asked the second lumberjack where he went and what he did when he left his work during the day.  The second lumberjack told the first that he rested. He gave his body and mind a break from the physical and mental effort it took to do his job. He also sharpened his axe. The moral of the story is this – when we create time and space to rest our minds and bodies and sharpen our tools, our best effort shows up differently.

Rest can look and be different for each of us.  For me it might be a day in my home with my family, without the distraction of technology nagging my attention, without the demands of somewhere else to be.  We might go for a walk, we might cook and enjoy a meal together, we might have an afternoon sleep. That might be different for you.  Sometimes, rest is a few days in a different environment and routine, walking in mountains or on beaches.  Sometimes rest is getting extra sleep.  Sometimes, rest is listening to music that helps me quieten my mind, while I walk my dogs through tree-lined streets.

There is rest to connect again to our senses, there is rest to restore our emotional capacity, there is rest to quieten our minds, there is rest with and from the people around us and there is rest to refuel our physical energy.

It might look and be different for each of us, but what it does for us and why we need it is the same.

Why do we need it?

Rest was designed so we could linger and dwell, without rush or urgency to get to something else.  Rest was designed to refresh our minds and bodies.  Rest was designed to bring us peace and perspective.  Rest was designed as a time to realign to the things that guide us.  Rest was designed to quieten our minds to the noise and frazzle of the “shoulds” and the “needs” and the expectations of our environments.  Rest is intended to restore our minds and bodies and sharpen our tools, so we can give our best efforts in the places where we live and work.  Rest allows us to renew our physical, mental and emotional capacity, so we can show up as the best versions of ourselves.

So, why do we need it?  Well, when we don’t create space in our rhythms to rest, we don’t ever have a break from the urgency, the expectations, the physical and mental effort of doing what we do.  When we “push through”, without a space to refresh, realign and restore peace, this becomes very much like an electric speed train.  At first, the speed is manageable as it creates momentum and there’s an initial energy that comes from adrenaline and excitement.  But over time, as the train gets faster and faster, the spaces it moves through almost become tighter, causing friction along the sides of the tunnels, sparks that could lead to explosions.  Just like us.  Without proper intervals of rest, we get familiar with moving faster and faster, but there is so much friction as we go.  Sparks fly, sometimes there’s an explosion.  It’s then very difficult to stop, or even slow down.

How can we get better at resting?

For most of us that “aren’t wired to rest”, we actually need to plan to rest.  It won’t just happen by accident.  Planning to rest means deciding when you’re going to rest, how you’re going to rest and then setting yourself up for success.

1. When you’re going to rest

This needs to be realistic, which probably doesn’t include days or weeks of silence in the mountains.  It could be an hour a day, split into two half hours.  It could be a day a week and even two consecutive days every quarter.  Whatever you choose to do, make it visible, in an online calendar or marked off on your fridge planner.  Seeing it in the schedule makes it easier to feel more comfortable about doing it.

If you’re not resting at all now, starting small is really important, so that your rhythms of rest become sustainable.  And that is what the aim should be – creating a sustainable rhythm of rest that works for you.

2. How you’re going to rest

Make it enjoyable!  You know what you love doing, the things that restore you.  Do more of those things.

3. Set yourself up for success

This is probably the most important part, because without creating the environment to help you rest, it probably won’t turn out the way you hope it will.

Setting yourself up means communicating to those who need to know about it – your family if you plan to rest more on weekends, your leaders and team members if you plan to take time off work, the people trying to get hold of you, by activating automatic responses.

Eliminate the distractions.  Don’t expect to rest if you’re constantly distracted by what Teams messages or WhatsApp notes you could be getting.  Turn your phone off or put it somewhere that’s inconvenient to reach.

These thoughts and learnings have helped me get better at resting well, even in the hustle and bustle environment of a big city, especially when calendars and schedules are full.  I’m not saying I’ve got this right yet.  I’m also human and live in these times and I get it.  I totally get it!  But that doesn’t change what I believe to be true about rest – it is not a reward, it is a requirement.  And if it’s a requirement, we need to teach ourselves how to rest well, as we were created to do.  We need to learn how to rest well, so we can be better versions of ourselves in all the places and spaces we occupy.